A special Christmas Message

I was only going to post this tomorrow, but since I've just been told to spend the day tidying up, I have no idea if I'll have the time.
Anyway.

My dears,

   Come Christmas and everybody is talking about Christmas gifts and all, and believe me, it's not that I don't like gifts, truth be told, I'm crazy for them, and it brought me back to the true Christmas spirit.
   You see, the thing is... You guys? You are the best present a girl could wish for. I mean, let's face it, why the hell would I need anything else? You are there for me whenever I need, to bitch with me or about me when needed be or to give me support. You guys make me smile when I would rather cry and wipe my tears when that's all that can be done. And you never once did me cry. Having people to be there for me, to have my back no matter what... To have partners that not only care, but UNDERSTAND me (or try to), to actually KNOW me... That's the greatest gift of all.  So yeah, I'm damn lucky to have you, all of you. And I wouldn't dare ask for anything else. I've heard once that one does not thank people for their friendship, but what if a single"thanks" is all you can do? What if there aren't words, in any language (at least the ones I know) to express just how important they are to you? I guess this song of Wicked can describe better my thoughts, but I still feel it's not enough. All the presents, messages and texts wouldn't be enough, I'm afraid, to express my gratitude. So yeah, Santa got it right this time. He gave me the most incredible, awesome, extraordinary, incredible present a girl would have never dreamed of wishing for. He gave me you. All of you. And I'm so damn lucky.
Clari, KB, Leanne... Meeting you guys was a real pleasure. The gutter in my mind cheers the three of you. My entire year would have been so much more dull without you guys.
Mica... You were the first person of the fandom I spoke to. And the first to become my friend. I'll never forget our insane conversations.
Ana... Sweet, sweet Ana. What can I say? You're the most incredibly sweet person I've ever met.
Iso...  My husband, my Bärchen, you're the best wife a girl could ask for. We're so incredibly mean together it's a amazing haha
Gabs... Minha conterrânea... You're my person. Even though you won't believe it sometimes.
Debs, you're the boss. haha You're the only one I've actually gotten to meet. It was beyond amazing.
Marcela... I guess after 7 long years, I don't really need to say a word, do I?
And as for Jayd and Hannah... I don't know what would be of my life without the two of you. It's that simple.
I'm a damn fortunate girl, for having received so many special presents. So different from me, but yet, somehow, we manage to get along just fine. I guess I should start calling Marlowe "Santa" from now on, since he's the true responsible for everything, I guess. Well, not everything but giving us a common ground that made us find ourselves and be where we  are now. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around, most of the time, since I'm as moody as the wind and as sensible and proud as anyone will ever be (which sucks, btw, but that's not relevant), but I'm so glad you guys took the time and cared enough to stay. So, stealing Wicked's words:  You've helped me rewritten my story, just by being my friends.
And you'll always be with me, like a handprint on my heart. A lovely one, for the matter.
Just thought you should know thought you guys should know that.
So, Happy Christmas. And thank you, for this extraordinary gift. The gift of friendship.

Love,
Thaís Neves.

For Good - Wicked.


I've heard it said 
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow 
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:

GLINDA
Because I knew you:

BOTHI have been changed for good

ELPHABA
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

GLINDA
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

BOTH
And none of it seems to matter anymore

GLINDA ELPHABA
Like a comet pulled Like a ship blown
From orbit as it Off it's mooring
Passes a sun, like By a wind off the
A stream that meets Sea, like a seed
A boulder, half-way Dropped by a 
Through the wood Bird in the wood

BOTH
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?

GLINDA
And because I knew you:
ELPHABA
Because I knew you:

BOTH
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.

"Our gretest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Confucius

Dobby Is a free elf. :P

So, after two weeks back in University to the world of dead bodies, structures that can't be seen by the human eye and loads of physics and stress, we've finally been released to enjoy the holidays like everybody else. Is that just a coincidence that the world's to end the same day I get my freedom? Highly unlikely haha. So like Dobby, I am to enjoy my freedom and my holidays the best way I can and try to squeeze in some studying time because some heartless professors have decided to receive us back on the New Year with tests. So much for having a life. But it's not time for complaining. It's time for celebrating. The year's going to end, for better or worse (although always hoping for the better), and this is a great time for new beginnings.
Time to have some fun.


Happy Holidays!

Picture credits: google images

One heart felt letter.

You say you want me but you never, not even once, fought for me. You say my friendship’s important to you but you only come to me when it’s convenient. I once called it a partnership, but how can we be partners when you just won’t open up for me?  I’m not that kind of a person. I can’t just stand by and wait for you to come to me when the mood strikes. It’s always or never. Because that’s how true friends are supposed to be. Doesn’t mean talking every day, but talking. Really talking, even if only once in a while. But actually talking. Not just showing up, saying hey and then disappearing, thinking it’s all going to be alright. You say you miss me but you never act upon it. I’m tired of being the one always looking, always going after. I’m not that needy. It’s crazy, really, because I’m jealous and I don’t even have the right to be. I’m possessive and I know I don’t have the right for that either. But that’s just who I’ve always been. I’ve never had to pretend to be somebody else around you and I sure as hell won’t start doing it now. And truth is, I get sad when I see that you go after the others, you talk to the others, but I’ve been put aside. Because your friendship’s important to me. And it hurts. One can’t control emotions, sadly, because if I could I would just walk away from you and never look back. But I can’t because I care. You matter.  But thing is, I matter to. I’m important as well. And I refuse to be the shadow of the person I could be. I refuse to be the person you go to only when you’re in trouble, only when YOU miss me. Because you’re not the only one who has feelings. And it hurts. But know what hurts the most? That you did all this to me and you never even realized you made me feel this way. It’s about time for me to stop being the white crayon, and I’ll try my best. I’m tired of being the sweet, silly girl who’s always there and who can be used whenever it pleases you. You may not think that’s how it is, but that’s how I feel. And I’m sorry I feel this way. It’s time to make my stand. The question is: where will YOU be standing?

You changed my life, and I’ll always be grateful for that. But I can’t just keep feeling like this without saying a word. I just can’t. Even I have a limit as to what I can take.

I really hope this is not goodbye.

All the love,

T.

My love, my sweet love
Have you seen the sun yet?
Have you seen the stars out there?
Are you thinking of me?

My dear, can you hear me?
I try to raise my voice
Above the shadows that surround
Me, but can you hear?

My love, please don't cry
I would do anything to see you smile.
Think of me the best way you can
And don't hope for an end.

I am coming for you
As I said I would
I didn't forget
And I hope you don't regret.

I love you, my dear
And all I want is to be at your side.
But as it happens, my path was wild
And all the strenght I have comes from loving you.

I'll be right at your side
To see the sun shine,
The birds sing
And celebrate the love I seek.

Thaís.

Nostalgia

I was looking through some pictures from las year and... Is it wrong to long for something you lost? I want to be that girl again. Not a care in the world. Those were one of the most magical weeks of my life. Joy, pure and simple, during each moment. Over the ocean. But I'm not that girl anymore. Although I'm sure she's hidding somewhere, deep down. Hopefully she'll come out for a walk any of these days.
Maybe. Maybe I will.

Fall passes by,
Winter comes and then says goodbye
And I don’t seem able to get rid of you.
Though deep down I am so happy I can barely hide.
For we are partners, friends, companions.
Till you decide.
I am a difficult person to live with
But you saw under my shield
And with kindness and happiness my Castle was built.
It never seemed to matter what I would say.
You were there, to protect me.
Till you wasn’t.
I didn’t know a heart could be broken in so many pieces.
Although it didn’t last long
And one by one they were glued.
In a way that felt surprisingly better.
I was so happy to have you back.
For our partnership grew even stronger.
And kissing each other should be just another logical step.
But God, what a kiss!
It made my knees go limp.
I never expect to be this close to paradise,
As I was, when your lips brushed mines.
It changed everything, for I was forced to realize
What others already knew.
I’ve being loving you for so long.
It’s hard to put into words exactly how I feel.

I’ll see you in the fall.
You broke my heart,
And I may have broken yours before,
But we'll see each other in the fall.

 I am so used to have you around,
That I never considered losing you.
And when it came the moment,
I just didn't knew what to do.

 You're a womanizer
But you have a kind soul
You worry for your daughter,
And for everyone you know.

 I don't know how this happened.
I sure as hell wouldn't expect it.
You were always my favorite writer,
And now you are my partner.

 You saved my life twice
And I felt for you at the very first time.
But how could I know it would end up
This way??

 Now you're leaving.
And if it weren't for my heart,
I would have killed you.
Killed the way you've killed my heart,
Kick and clean, like pulling out a band aid.
For this way my heart won't bleed.

 You said you would be there for me.
You  acted as if you cared.
So don't you dare going out like this,
Without a second glance.

Does your word has any value, Mr. Castle?
If it has, you should start explaining yourself.
Your ex wife? Really!?
I thought you would be creative.

Everything I got were lies.
"It's alright Beckett, we are good."
All I told you were lies
"I don't care for you".

And now summer comes,
And we are faraway from each other.
Not only by miles
But by the word that have never being said.
 

I love you, you idiot.
There is being a while.
But I was scared of losing you,
Though I never see it coming so soon.

I'll see you in the fall. 

Why you'll fail to have a great career.

This video... It just says it all. Watch it until the very end. It's awe inspiring.

Since youth, people ask you what you intend to be when you grow up. At this point of your life, the answer is quite easy. You want to be a ballerina, a doctor, an actress, an astronaut,… . You don`t need to think hard to find out. No one expect you to say something as “I want to be an economist” or “I want to find the cure for cancer”. You are too young for those things, and they are just asking, they don`t think you are really wanting to be any of this.
But time passes, and they still ask you the same old question, but now, they want a real answer, they will advice you to be this or that, they will try to convince you what is better for your future. They will start to pressure you so you will chose a job in which you will win a lot of money. Some will let you make the decision on your on, just giving advices if you ask them; others will keep asking and forcing you to come to a decision. They don`t do that on purpose, they are just worried with your future, others are just curious, since it`s normal, when you get in a certain age, to have already found out what you will be.
And time passes even more, this time you have no way back. You MUST decide what you will be, because the vestibular is knocking at your door. You are just one step from University. The childish dreams of being an actress or a ballerina have faded a long time ago, or are even stronger. You start to thinking at the possibility of being a professor, an engineer, a layer, a scientist. You search about the job, you think about the chances of earning money with your future job. You think about just how much you would love to do one thing or another. And people keep asking you that same old question, and making pressure on you.
Finally the day has come, you make your decision and make them proud, or make them think about just what the hell they will do with you. But you are independent now, you can be on your on and won`t need them anymore. And your future is in your hands. It’s a big responsibility that life has given you, but there is no way back. You can`t be insecure, it`s not going to be as it is when you were practicing, if you make a mistake, you won`t be able to erase it and try again, only in the next year.
Those are the risks. You well may be too young to do such a hard decision. But that is life. And you have to get used to it.

But how will you know? Even when you’re in, how do you know you made the right decision? Do you ever?

I want to know what goes inside your head
I want to share your every thought
I want to be able to wake up in the middle of the night
And feel your warm body against mine

I want to listen to your hopes and fears
Dream your dreams and wipe your tears.
Baby, I want to hold you close.
You and me against the world.

I want to be the one you go to when you're in trouble,
I want to be your best friend and lover
And to feel your lips on mine
To be with you whatever the time.

To say the words I've longed to say.
And hear the words that in dreams I hear
The words that will make us stay
And that will end the fear.

To love you while it's dark
And hold you close even when there's light.
To hear the songbirds sing our melody
And live our life, no longer a dream.


Thaís.

Something to be said about dreams

Sometimes our dreams are destroyed, by no one other than ourselves. And there's nobody we can blame, no matter how much we try. Sometimes we see our dreams passing by, but we don't have the courage to follow them. We start to find excuses as to why we missed our chance. Did we kill the dream, or did they?
And as we get old, we travel through memoryland and we start to regret having missed our chance. But have we? Is there an age limit to dream? And if so, how old is it? Can't we start over pretending to be a kid? How far can you go? How much can you risk? Isn't it better to live knowing that you took that risk?
But when the odds are too high we stand back, afraid to fly. We wonder how long will be the fall, how much effort it will cost. We are not all gamblers, we can't always beat the odds and that's our excuse to stand back and pretend the dream is lost. But what if it isn't? What if it's just waiting for you to fight? Just waiting for you to go back into believing it's possible. Just waiting for you to take that one chance.
Close your eyes and think: what are the dreams you forgot to dream? Is it too late for you? What are the chances you missed for fear? For fear of what, exactly? Not being able to accomplish them or of being succeeding? Now just think of your new dreams. Will you run away from them too? Will you come up with excuses? Or will you stick your feet and fight for them, go after them, wherever they lead you. Or are willing to spend the rest of your life looking back and regretting having missed the chance?

Thaís.

Just a little something

This is going to be a place for me to... I don't know, be. Share my thoughts and texts and whatever else crosses my mind. I have some obsessions and they will probably become quiet clear. Well, guess that's all. Feel free to leave any comment or whatever. Well, let the fun begin.