If this is a dream I don't want to wake up
If it's all just a dream then let it become my reality
For in this dream I can hold you
In the dream you know that I love you.

I try to reach out to you but you won't look
I'm all alone and you can't see me
I scream the words to the wind, for the world to listen
Yet you never hear.

You're in my arms, I hold you tight
I can count the infinite beats of your heart
As we lay, side by side
Whispering promises in the moonlight

Day by day I try to convince myself it's a mistake
But one look at your smile and my heart's awake,
All the reasons this could be wrong make it be so absolutely right
that I catch myself counting down the seconds until it's night.

As night comes and I can finally sleep, in dreams you come
Your heartbeats have the sound of a drum
Telling me all that I need to know.
Telling me that in dreams, at least, we belong.

Some german music

So, on the spirit of one-month-till-I-leave-for-Germany-for-a-year-and-a-half (more to be said about this later when the mood strikes) I'm going to put some German music here to educate you guys. As if. Nah I just really like this song, and this band as a matter of fact, and though it took me a trip to google to actually understand more than a few words here and there (totally worth it btw) I wasn't disappointed. It's also a proof that German isn't ugly as a language. I know that when people think of german, of Germany, the first thing that comes to mind is Hitler and WWII and all the blood, tears, pain and despair of war, of a country left in the hands of the wrong people (well not left but taken over by). But there's so much more to Germany than that. There's so much more to the german language then the Hitler speeches or what we saw on some WWII inspired movie. German is not a language for curses only. It's also a language for music, for poetry and for pride. I do admit the huge words that look like complete sentences (and that actually are complete sentences when you get to know them) are more than a little scary. But there's so much more to it than the scary first, second and third impressions. Just... Listen.

I thought you said you would never let go of me

I thought you said I could never be replaced

But hurt as it might, deep down I know

Our friendship has changed.

What once was is now but a memory

And all the plans we had, all the promises we made,

Are now nothing but ghosts,

For our lives have changed

I tried to hold on to the pieces of the past

But they kept falling through my fingers like sand

As a painful reminder that everything has an end.

I tried to let go of you,

But the ghosts of the past keep crawling back,

Sneaking their way in and never letting go of me.

Past and future keep me chained where I am,

Trapped in a tug of war between what was and is

And every time it seems like one might finally win

The other pulls back and in the middle I stand.

And as my mind begs me to let go of it

My heart, full of memories, begs me to keep trying.

And it’s thinking of forever that I’m stuck

Never even knowing whether to follow brain or heart.

It's like you're casting me aside and I don't even know why.
Did I say something I shouldn't? Did I do something wrong?
It's like the bonds that brought us together are breaking
And you don't even realise that.
Is our friendship worth fighting for? Are you willing to try?
Or have you truly replaced me this time?
Can't you see that I'm trying? Can't you see that inside I'm crying?
It seems like we've been friends for forever and ever.
Then why do I feel like I don't even know you anymore?
Why does it feels like you no longer know who I am?
It seems like you've cast me aside now that you have your new friends.
It hurts that you seem to be always too busy for me.
I thought friendship was more than that.
I thought we were more than that.
It's time you made your stand.
Please let me just be awfully wrong.

It's time we said our goodbyes
I just want to thank you for saving my life.
Everything was so much darker before you came by
So thank you, for guiding my path.

It's funny how much I changed because of you.
You asked me nothing and simply accepted
You never once thought me silly
And whats more important, you gave me friendship.

Photographs show a time that once was
And the battle of a girl completely lost.
And though nowadays I'm mostly found,
We never really forget the ones who touched our heart.

Thing is, though you might not even remember me,
I assure you I will never be able to forget.
And I hope someday I'll see you again
Just so I can finally thank you properly for all you did, saving me.

River Song.

I never liked endings
Yet I saw yours before the start,
And it was trying not to love you
That I completely lost both my hearts.

You're always here to me
And I always listen
I can always see you.
My wife. My love. My Melody. My Song.

Had you known from the start,
Would you do it all again?
Because it was saving my life
That you ended up condemned.

Spoilers of our lives,
Neve quite crossing on the right timeline.
Our stories were backwards.
And our fear the same.

The day we would look into each other's eyes
Knowing that the other had no idea who we were.
No idea what we meant for one another.
I would no longer be your Doctor.

Hello sweetie,
I loved you and I always will.
And it's because I love you
That I said "Until the next time, I'll see you."

Doctor Who?

Okay so, I've spent the last month watching the last seven seasons of Doctor Who and I can honestly say it's one of the best shows I've ever watched. I'm now in desperate need of a sonic screwdriver and thinking bowties are cool and craving for fish fingers and custard. Waiting for my mad men with a box to show. To have somebody come to me, grab my hand and yell RUN. To fight an army of Daleks with 9th and to fall for Tenth knowing his heart belongs to Rose. And to go somewhere with Amy Pond and the last centurion to save the world. To kick ass with River Song and to save Eleventh's life with Clara. To take Madame Vastra's one word challenge and listen to the song of the Ood. To swim over Tenth's insanely fabulous hair. To be yelled at by Donna. To be on the Tardis being controlled by the Doctor, The Other Doctor and Donna Doctor. To help Martha Jones save the entire planet. To avoid paradoxes and get in trouble. To follow the doctor when he tells me not to. To wander off. I want to turn the impossible possible. Too meet Shakespeare, Agatha Christie, The Beatles and Jane Austen. Anywhere in time and space, not where we wanted to go but where we needed to go. To live inside the Tardis Library. And most important, to be the doctor's friend.