So today I've received some marvelous news:
I've been accepted by a university here in Germany to study there for a year starting this winter (tecnically this fall), and it really is a dream come true. After all the struggle, all the despair, the late nights trying to write the perfect letter or even before that the late nights of studying for my tests in my uni in Brazil. Dreams do come true, if only ones work hard enough for them.
And this is it. That's my dream. Archieved with sweat and tears which makes it all the more worthwhile.
So yeah I'm damn happy and I just thought I would share the news ^^
Tuesday, 13 May 2014
Sunday, 11 May 2014
Love letter to a stranger
Dear Stranger,
I know we've probably never talked before and this may sound a little weird but the thing is, I love you. I think you are the most important person that ever existed and I love everything about you. Even all the things you seem to consider flaws, even the defects. I love you for who you are, when you let yourself trust enough to let your shield down. I love the way you smile, the way you talk and I thinkg you are the most beautiful person that exists. I think you have a good heart and I know for a fact you will archieve great things if only you allow yourself to.
My dear, I hope you've had a good day. I know life can be rough sometimes specially with those of us who they are unable to comprehend but you can do it. You can fight everything and every single person who tells you otherwise, who tells you can't or that you don't have what it takes. Because you do. You have a strenght within that's hiding, just waiting to be discovered. Just waiting for the right moment to come out. There will be good days, as there always were, and the bad days don't need to take the beauty out of the good ones. The good days should be cherished, enjoyed, go crazy like there's no one watching. It's on the moments of sheer joy and freedom that you shine the brightest.
Find the people who make you feel like you can be yourself and don't let go of them. Find the people who make you feel special, unique, invencible. Surround yourself with them. No matter if they live next door or a thousand miles away. And let go of whoever hurts you, whoever makes you feel like less. They're not worth of your time or tears. Seek love, even when it seems like there's no hope, for you'll find it.
Take risks, my love. Go on adventures, even if these adventures are inside the pages of books or the episodes of a new show. Try, try and try again. And know that whenever you fall there's always going to be someone right there to catch you and help you up again. Even if sometimes you can't see it. Make mistakes, I know this sound like a line stolen from one of those help books but the only way you'll ever learn what's right is by doing what's wrong.
I know we're most likely to never meet, and it saddens me to know that. But I also know that you're alive. You're alive and you're seeking happiness. And I truly hope you find it. And I'll be right here waiting, loving you. I hope you think of me, sometimes, when you're feeling sad or happy or lonely. I hope you think of me when you feel like there's no escape. No moving forwards. I hope you remember me when you feel you're not important. When others tell you you're not good enough. I hope you think of me, and remember that I love you and think you're the single most important thing in the entire universe and all other universes that might be discovered. I hope you remember me, and that you know that I'll always accept you for who you are, instead of for who you pretend to be. You're my idea of perfect, and I hope someday you can think the same about yourself. I hope someday you're able to love yourself half as much as I love you, and to believe in yourself as I do. Because you're my lifeline and you deserve to be happy.
Have a great week.
Always yours,
Friday, 9 May 2014
Traveling around
Hi there,
I know I haven't written anything in a while and I miss it, a lot. But lately I've been doing a lot of travelling. And a lot of going out (check me out with a social life). My roommate and I went to Poland on a roadtrip with a few other brazilians from our school, it was great. Not only the knowing of a new country but also because of the experience and the history we got to learn. We went to Krakow and did a tour around the Jewish neighbourhood, we saw the Castle and got to learn a bit about the dragon's tale. We went out, we had a great time. But one of the things that marked me the most was the Jewish walking tour that I did. And not only for the story, since we got to listen and follow all that had happened in Krakow and Poland since the moment the Jewish started to go there until past world war 2. With of course a focus on the attrocities commited during the war. We saw Schindler's factory. We saw the Chairs Platz where the jewish had been told to gather and then taken or killed. What marked me was the claim the guide made, which is recurrent here in Germany and in all other places marked by the WWII. She said "Please, don't remember us for the atrocities commited. There's so much more to our history than that. When you think of us don't think of Aushwitz only. Think of all the good things we did to the Jewish and to everyone else through our history." And also the fact that, like the germans, they don't hide what was done. But they learned and they do their best to make sure history won't be repeated.
Anyway, after Poland I spent a week back in Berlin having classes and then I spent 10 days in England, where after a few days in London, which was marvelous, and the Wicked performance (which will gain a post for itself) I got to spend the most marvelous time with Hannah who I finally got to meet. ^^
So yeah. That's the reason and I'm sorry and the minute I finish this other project of mine I'll try to give more thought and dedicate myself more to this blog.
Live long and prosper xD
I know I haven't written anything in a while and I miss it, a lot. But lately I've been doing a lot of travelling. And a lot of going out (check me out with a social life). My roommate and I went to Poland on a roadtrip with a few other brazilians from our school, it was great. Not only the knowing of a new country but also because of the experience and the history we got to learn. We went to Krakow and did a tour around the Jewish neighbourhood, we saw the Castle and got to learn a bit about the dragon's tale. We went out, we had a great time. But one of the things that marked me the most was the Jewish walking tour that I did. And not only for the story, since we got to listen and follow all that had happened in Krakow and Poland since the moment the Jewish started to go there until past world war 2. With of course a focus on the attrocities commited during the war. We saw Schindler's factory. We saw the Chairs Platz where the jewish had been told to gather and then taken or killed. What marked me was the claim the guide made, which is recurrent here in Germany and in all other places marked by the WWII. She said "Please, don't remember us for the atrocities commited. There's so much more to our history than that. When you think of us don't think of Aushwitz only. Think of all the good things we did to the Jewish and to everyone else through our history." And also the fact that, like the germans, they don't hide what was done. But they learned and they do their best to make sure history won't be repeated.
Anyway, after Poland I spent a week back in Berlin having classes and then I spent 10 days in England, where after a few days in London, which was marvelous, and the Wicked performance (which will gain a post for itself) I got to spend the most marvelous time with Hannah who I finally got to meet. ^^
So yeah. That's the reason and I'm sorry and the minute I finish this other project of mine I'll try to give more thought and dedicate myself more to this blog.
Live long and prosper xD
Wednesday, 19 March 2014
First week in Berlin
Okay so this was going to be a pretty much detailed description of my first week here but I got lazy halfway through so I'm just gonna post what I did write and make a short text some other day about the first month. Sometime xD
Excuse any mistakes, I was doing it on doc xD
The trip started with the flight from Recife to Frankfurt being two hours late, since the system went down for a few hours, making check in impossible. While in the airport I met some of the people who I had been talking on whatsapp for months. The people who were to travel with me. After the plane took off, we had a 10 hour marathon and since it was an overnight flight, I ended up not sleeping more than about half an hour total.
Arriving in Frankfurt two hours late I had already missed my connection so I had to go and have my flight rescheduled, which gave me no mora than 20 min to go through passaport control, imigration and going to the next gate. I'm not sure whether or not you've ever gone to Frankfurt's airport but let me tell you this: it's bloody huge. It's like on the top 10 biggest airports in Europe or around the world or whatever. It's like a small city. Anyway, this girl and I had were going to take the same flight so we decided to stick together. We basically ran through the airport and did everthing we had to do in 15 minutes. It was a mad race. To the point where while passing the X-Ray the guy there was like "somebody is in a rush" and I said "yeah. My flight takes off in 15 min".. Once I told him my gate he just turned at me and said "you're not gonna make it." But hey I did make it. Barely.
Anyway so we took the flight from Frankfurt to Berlin and getting here my dear friend was waiting for me. Which, let me say, was simply adorable. Right, so before that we were waiting for our luggage and it never arrived, so after getting out we went to the lost and founds and then some other place to say that our luggage was lost and stuff. They took our addresses and numbers and gave us a protocol number, saying our luggage was in Frankfurt but would be sent to us that same day, the next one in the latest. The four of us (because there was another brazilian in our flight) then shared a cab to the hostel.
The place we stayed was actually pretty cool, they had free wifi and a pool table along with a bunch of other cool stuff. We checked in our room and went out after some food, finding an actually really good place to eat. A big enough meal for two, though since we didn't know we had to fight our way through the plate, giving up no more than halway through which was when we found out we could take the rest to go. Making that our dinner, as well.
Iso and I went back to the hostel to drop some of the stuff and then she showed me around a bit of Berlin's Mitte. Damn the place is beautiful. It's a big city but not exactly as the ones I'm used to in Brazil. And the buzz of voices around and signs of world wide known brands made it seem like we could've been anywhere in the world. Although the cold did say it was nowhere near the Equator line. And full of people from all places. It was really cool. Anyway we browsed some stores, we went in a bookshop (You can take a girl out of her country, out of her world, you can even take the books away from her... But you will never be able to take her away from the books.) and I was really happy to see there were some books in english too (yay me). Anyway we finally parted ways, Iso and I, I mean, at the hostel since it was getting late and she went home. I went inside and met up with the brazilians who were there (There were loads of us) and we sat at the "common room" to socialize with one another and drink some beers and soft drinks and whatever and play cards and be loud. When I finally got to sleep it was way past 3 am, Germany time, making it like over 24 hours of not sleeping. Woke up the next morning and we went out as a small group to do some sight seeing, we ended up going to the Bode-Museum, which was pretty cool, and then I went back to the hostel to try to talk to my grandparents while the others went to another museum. Later on I went to Alexander Platz with a bunch of people and ended up getting lost on my way back. It was, now when I look back, pretty hilarious. I got home and they wanted me to drag me out again, to a nightclub or something, but I refused to go... Until I rested and ended up going anyway. After all, you gotta enjoy it while you can, right? So we tried to go to this place but we didn't manage to get in. For no other reason than: Berlin nightclubs have guys at the doors, not exactly security but sort of, and they choose who goes in and who doesnt. Apparently I wasn't cool enough to go in... Or maybe it was the fact that I was with two other guys in my group, and not girls only. Anyway we went back to the hostel and we did a bit of a party in the common room again, until I went upstairs to sleep.
Excuse any mistakes, I was doing it on doc xD
The trip started with the flight from Recife to Frankfurt being two hours late, since the system went down for a few hours, making check in impossible. While in the airport I met some of the people who I had been talking on whatsapp for months. The people who were to travel with me. After the plane took off, we had a 10 hour marathon and since it was an overnight flight, I ended up not sleeping more than about half an hour total.
Arriving in Frankfurt two hours late I had already missed my connection so I had to go and have my flight rescheduled, which gave me no mora than 20 min to go through passaport control, imigration and going to the next gate. I'm not sure whether or not you've ever gone to Frankfurt's airport but let me tell you this: it's bloody huge. It's like on the top 10 biggest airports in Europe or around the world or whatever. It's like a small city. Anyway, this girl and I had were going to take the same flight so we decided to stick together. We basically ran through the airport and did everthing we had to do in 15 minutes. It was a mad race. To the point where while passing the X-Ray the guy there was like "somebody is in a rush" and I said "yeah. My flight takes off in 15 min".. Once I told him my gate he just turned at me and said "you're not gonna make it." But hey I did make it. Barely.
Anyway so we took the flight from Frankfurt to Berlin and getting here my dear friend was waiting for me. Which, let me say, was simply adorable. Right, so before that we were waiting for our luggage and it never arrived, so after getting out we went to the lost and founds and then some other place to say that our luggage was lost and stuff. They took our addresses and numbers and gave us a protocol number, saying our luggage was in Frankfurt but would be sent to us that same day, the next one in the latest. The four of us (because there was another brazilian in our flight) then shared a cab to the hostel.
The place we stayed was actually pretty cool, they had free wifi and a pool table along with a bunch of other cool stuff. We checked in our room and went out after some food, finding an actually really good place to eat. A big enough meal for two, though since we didn't know we had to fight our way through the plate, giving up no more than halway through which was when we found out we could take the rest to go. Making that our dinner, as well.
Iso and I went back to the hostel to drop some of the stuff and then she showed me around a bit of Berlin's Mitte. Damn the place is beautiful. It's a big city but not exactly as the ones I'm used to in Brazil. And the buzz of voices around and signs of world wide known brands made it seem like we could've been anywhere in the world. Although the cold did say it was nowhere near the Equator line. And full of people from all places. It was really cool. Anyway we browsed some stores, we went in a bookshop (You can take a girl out of her country, out of her world, you can even take the books away from her... But you will never be able to take her away from the books.) and I was really happy to see there were some books in english too (yay me). Anyway we finally parted ways, Iso and I, I mean, at the hostel since it was getting late and she went home. I went inside and met up with the brazilians who were there (There were loads of us) and we sat at the "common room" to socialize with one another and drink some beers and soft drinks and whatever and play cards and be loud. When I finally got to sleep it was way past 3 am, Germany time, making it like over 24 hours of not sleeping. Woke up the next morning and we went out as a small group to do some sight seeing, we ended up going to the Bode-Museum, which was pretty cool, and then I went back to the hostel to try to talk to my grandparents while the others went to another museum. Later on I went to Alexander Platz with a bunch of people and ended up getting lost on my way back. It was, now when I look back, pretty hilarious. I got home and they wanted me to drag me out again, to a nightclub or something, but I refused to go... Until I rested and ended up going anyway. After all, you gotta enjoy it while you can, right? So we tried to go to this place but we didn't manage to get in. For no other reason than: Berlin nightclubs have guys at the doors, not exactly security but sort of, and they choose who goes in and who doesnt. Apparently I wasn't cool enough to go in... Or maybe it was the fact that I was with two other guys in my group, and not girls only. Anyway we went back to the hostel and we did a bit of a party in the common room again, until I went upstairs to sleep.
Sunday, 2 February 2014
Power of words
She opened up the book and started to read out loud, whispering the words, as if telling a secret. Dangerous words had been written down long ago by her own hand, one that was now old and marked for the years who charged their price. Powerful words that were feared even while they were being written. But then, arent all words powerful? Hadn't she been taught that every word was dangerous and that writing was the most dangerous thing of all? The darkest and yet sweetest secret. Too much power was held in the hands of those who wrote. The written word, the spoken word. Words coming together to form an infinity of all things. They were too powerful to be held down, locked away in a piece of paper, yet humanity kept on doing just that. They say humans fear what they don't understand and yet... Yet they wrote. She always thought it was because they didn't know they didn't understand, they thought they did when in fact they didn't. So they lied to themselves, pretending to have absolute control, but they have always been mistaken. But she knew better than to pretend, life had taught her not to lie to herself. She had been young once, and fearless, and though many would still call her brave, she had the one secret fear that she had to face day by day: the fear of words.
She had spent her life being transported by them, using them as an escape from reality whenever reality felt like too much. Whenever reality made her sad or hurt or even bored. Whenever reality was too real for her to handle, she played with them and found her own place, her own worlds. And slowly, word by word, they got a hold on her. They emprisioned her in all those worlds, all those possibilities. Until she had been trapped in her escape route that somehow became a prison. They charged their price. And as she created life with words, life ran by outside without her being aware. Life happened and she was trapped. A different reality, far more dangerous than the reality she had tried to escape from. And yet far more fulfilling.
She had been young once, and her youth could be counted on the pages of the books she had read and written. The sunrise and sunsets could be measured by chapters. Chapters filled with pain and sorrow and love and happiness. Her dreams had been an epilogue of things to come. She had followed them and as dreams were lived, more would form.
Fear me, she could all but hear the words speaking to her even now, so many years later. Words forming more words that would form complete sentences that would join other words and sentences in a net of powerful roads, where each twist and turn would be filled with dangerous wonders. Her first words had been a prologue for all the things to come, and while living the last pages of her epilogue the words kept on. Fear me. Fear me for I am the life of all things. Fear me for I am peace and I am war. Fear me for I am old and young and ageless. Fear me for I'm what has been and what will be. Fear me for I am light and darkness. Fear me for you love me. Fear me for I am life.
Fear me.
And so she read out loud the one word that had had the power to destroy worlds. The last word of all stories, all books, all realities, all lives. She read the one word as her own story reached it's end.
She had spent her life being transported by them, using them as an escape from reality whenever reality felt like too much. Whenever reality made her sad or hurt or even bored. Whenever reality was too real for her to handle, she played with them and found her own place, her own worlds. And slowly, word by word, they got a hold on her. They emprisioned her in all those worlds, all those possibilities. Until she had been trapped in her escape route that somehow became a prison. They charged their price. And as she created life with words, life ran by outside without her being aware. Life happened and she was trapped. A different reality, far more dangerous than the reality she had tried to escape from. And yet far more fulfilling.
She had been young once, and her youth could be counted on the pages of the books she had read and written. The sunrise and sunsets could be measured by chapters. Chapters filled with pain and sorrow and love and happiness. Her dreams had been an epilogue of things to come. She had followed them and as dreams were lived, more would form.
Fear me, she could all but hear the words speaking to her even now, so many years later. Words forming more words that would form complete sentences that would join other words and sentences in a net of powerful roads, where each twist and turn would be filled with dangerous wonders. Her first words had been a prologue for all the things to come, and while living the last pages of her epilogue the words kept on. Fear me. Fear me for I am the life of all things. Fear me for I am peace and I am war. Fear me for I am old and young and ageless. Fear me for I'm what has been and what will be. Fear me for I am light and darkness. Fear me for you love me. Fear me for I am life.
Fear me.
And so she read out loud the one word that had had the power to destroy worlds. The last word of all stories, all books, all realities, all lives. She read the one word as her own story reached it's end.
Saturday, 1 February 2014
Books read in January.
Okay so, as a book a holic, people are always asking me how many books I read through the year and I'm never sure, at all. Last year I tried to make a list of the books I read during it but let's just say I lost the damn paper and couldn't remember most of the names so... I'm trying a one list a month thing and this way I'll know which ones and be able to make a proper count at the end of the year. xD
I'm at a romantical month, one could say so xD Anyway, these are the books I read from beginning to end, I also started City of Ashes and I've been reading The Ocean at the End of the Land, but I decided they only count if I started and finished on the same month. Or in case of these two, they'll count on next month's when I do the February list. I may or may not do a little review on them later on but for now let me just say they're really good books, the first 14 by Nora Roberts and the last one from the series The Mortal Instruments.
Dark Witch
Daring to dream
Holding the dream
Finding the dream
Taming Tash
Luring a lady
Falling for Rachel
Convincing Alex
Waiting for Nick
Considering Kate
The Last Honest Woman
Dance to the Piper
Skin Deep
Without a Trace
City of Bones
I'm at a romantical month, one could say so xD Anyway, these are the books I read from beginning to end, I also started City of Ashes and I've been reading The Ocean at the End of the Land, but I decided they only count if I started and finished on the same month. Or in case of these two, they'll count on next month's when I do the February list. I may or may not do a little review on them later on but for now let me just say they're really good books, the first 14 by Nora Roberts and the last one from the series The Mortal Instruments.
Dark Witch
Daring to dream
Holding the dream
Finding the dream
Taming Tash
Luring a lady
Falling for Rachel
Convincing Alex
Waiting for Nick
Considering Kate
The Last Honest Woman
Dance to the Piper
Skin Deep
Without a Trace
City of Bones
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